By George Lubitz
The Tang Museum is one of Skidmore’s unsung treasures. Every month there seems to be a revalatory new exhibit that challanges expectations and subverts ways of thinking. But, like any high-brow museum, The Tang is not without its stringent rules and policies. Here’s a list of 8 things you can do during your visit and probably be fine.
1. Talk to the art.
While you aren’t allowed to touch the pieces on display, there are no rules listed anywhere prohibiting you from striking up conversation with them. Ask a painting how it’s doing; give it an update on how that date last week went. Though it isn’t exactly othordox, the security gaurds have no real basis to ask you to leave.
2. Become your own art piece.
Art is all about free expression. Museums are all about displaying new modes of art. Ergo, you should have every liberty to become you own exhibition of free expresion. The rules clearly state you have to keep your voice down and not get in the way of other guests’ viewing experience, but a nice spot in the corner to do your thing should totally go over without an issue.
3. Repeatedly ask the person at the front desk if they are your mom.
While they might respond with a quizical glare and a staunch “no,” you can probably get off scott-free if you ask the worker at the desk “are you my mommy?” over and over again. You might ultimately be asked to leave, but that probably won’t be something permanent.
4. Ride around in your Heelys.
An excellent loop-hole! While parts of campus restrict the use of skateboards and scooters, there are actually no posted rules about the use of Heelys on the sweet granite floors of the Tang. Be sure to cite this fact when/if the museum hosts try to keep you from having a good time. If all else fails, tell them your mom works there, and she said it was okay.
5. Empty all of the soap dispensers in the boy’s bathroom.
They don’t have cameras in there! It’s so much fun to use way more soap than you need and watch it all spill onto the ground and make a slimy pink puddle! Plus, if you’re the only one in there (except for your little brother), no one will ever know it was you! Walk away unscathed, the only proof of the misdoing being your lavishly clean-scented hands.
6. Ask the art monitors what book they’re reading and then tell them that the book is stupid.
They’re always sitting down and reading stupid books without any pictures! You can totally feel free to ask the same questions about the contents of the book over and over, well beyond the point where the monitor squeezes the bridge of their nose and scans the room for your mom or dad or step dad. It also doesn’t hurt to say “why?” after every sentence that they speak.
7. Put your hand in the path of the rolling pennies on that big coin vortex donation thingy.
You might get looks from other kids and their parents, but it’s your money and you have every right to watch the fast coins roll round and round the loop as many times as you want. Even if it isn’t your money, what are the other kids gonna do? Tell on you? Fat chance.
8. Ask your parent if you can still go to the gift shop and cause a scene when they say no.
Hey, they said you could go and then they didn’t. That’s on them. If they didn’t want you screaming and crying, they should’ve read the rules about noise before they rescinded their promise. You can definitely get away with this one, because you can threaten to scream at the top of your lungs if they still maintain leaving the museum early without first buying you a bag of loose colorful rocks.