Not Even Lin-Manuel Miranda Can Get Into a Theater Party at the Alpine House

By Carolyn Smith

Lin-Manuel Miranda had just completed his last Hamilton performance and wanted to celebrate with his friends in Skidmore’s theater department.  There was a party going on at the off-campus “Alpine” house and Miranda figured he would easily get in given that he’d written and starred in the best musical of 2016.  The thespian was horribly mistaken.  He spent over an hour waiting in line behind a handful of intimidated but hopeful freshmen.  He was discouraged to see student after student get rejected at the house’s entrance, but remained optimistic and continued practicing what he would say to the bouncer: “I took Intro with Larry.”  

Miranda finally made it to the front of the line and said the password to the 7-foot-tall, trench-coat wearing man.  Taken by surprise, the bouncer nodded his head in approval.  To verify Miranda’s identity, he issued a fingerprint test, took a blood sample, and made the Broadway star recite every line from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Miranda thought he had met all the standards required to get into the party when the bouncer started to open the house’s door.  At the brink of Miranda’s success, the bouncer paused, turned to the actor, and asked “Did In the Heights win Best Costume Design?”  All color drained from Miranda’s face before he tried to cooly respond “Well… it lost by a hair to South Pacific.”  The bouncer slammed the door shut and told him to “get the fuck out.”  Feeling defeated, Miranda headed back to campus.  He climbed back up to Northwoods and resorted to some junior’s open-invite at Whitman.

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