This story was written by George Lubitz, Evan Wiecha, and Erika Marcinek
Some experts argue results might be due to some students’ misunderstanding that referendum had to do with marijuana legalization.
SKIDSYNC—Skidmore students on Sunday voted in favor of changing their school charter, granting Broccoli new far-reaching powers.
Students were asked to vote “Yes” or “No” on a plan that would radically alter the charter to turn the school’s leadership drastically, shifting power from President Glotzbach to Brocolli, the edible plant in the cabbage family. “Yes” claimed a slim victory with 51.4% of the vote. Many prominent opposition parties like “Camp” and “90s” called for a recount of the results, citing a mistrust in polling officials’ integrity.
Broccoli will likely make its first public appearance since the referendum vote on Senior Funday, which many think of as a second inauguration.
On Sunday Broccoli spoke briefly after the majority of the vote was counted, claiming an early victory. “I don’t know why you think this is going to be fun. What, you’re all gonna dress up in broccoli costumes? You’ll make broccoli margaritas? Disgusting. Absolutely pointless. But whatever, it’s your fucking Funday. Stupid way to cap off your senior experience, though. Whatever. Thanks for your vote,” said Broccoli in a widely-televised speech.
Experts are unsure exactly as to how this new major shift will influence Skidmore policy and quality of life for years to come, but they all reached a general consensus that Senior Funday will probably be really fucking ridiculous and many of those who voted “Yes” will probably regret it immediately.