While Donald Trump Was Firing James Comey, You May Have Missed Philip Glotzbach Hiring A Duck As A Psychology Professor. 

By Max LoSardo 
President of the United States and Actual Cartoon Villain Donald Trump shocked the political world yesterday when he fired FBI Director James “Who’s My Big Little Man” Comey.

Trump has been accused of firing Comey for his part in leading the investigation into potential collusion between the Trump Campaign and the Russians.

While this story has understandably been dominating the news cycle, there has been little-to-zero coverage of President of Skidmore College Philip A. Glotzbach hiring a duck as a psychology professor.

The Skidmo’ Daily can report that President Glotzbach was seen shaking the webbed foot of a duck, who then waddled out of his office on the 4th floor of Palamountain.

Glotzbach, with no prior known history of connections with ducks, is reported to have said “Congratulations Professor Duck, Skidmore is very lucky to have you.”

Reporters questioned Professor Duck upon his exiting of Bolton, only for him to say “Quack. Quack quack quack.”

 Several anonymous students have spoken out against the hiring of a duck, with one saying “What do you mean he hired a duck? Ducks don’t know anything about psychology.” Another student added: “I think we already have enough ducks in the psychology department if you know what I mean.” (We don’t know what this means.) 

 President Glotzbach and President Trump could not be reached for comment.

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