By Nick Papazian
Right now, there are a lot of freshman out there who are nervous about surviving their first week of school. Here at Skidmo Daily, we feel your pain and we’re here to help. The first week can often be a bit tricky, but we’ve put together a list of things you should definitely have to help you get through it.
A lot of people slack off on getting textbooks, but it’s a bad idea. Try to get your textbooks as soon as possible. You’ll totally score points with your prof’s if you show up to your first class with all the materials you need.
- Bear Mace
College is a different world that you may not be familiar with, and it’s good to be prepared. You’ll deal with awkward situations, the pressures of assignments, and incredibly angry bears. Never go anywhere without some bear mace close at hand. It may just save your life.
- A No. 2 Pencil
A classic tool, this symbol of scholarship will be the sword with which you fight the intellectual war of higher education. Keep ‘em sharp and at the ready. It’s generally good to buy a whole box–you’ll go through them faster than you think.
- A Sturdy Broadsword
A classic tool, this symbol of bloody and glorious conflict will be the literal sword with which you fight the actual physical war of college. Keep this close by at all times, and make sure to sharpen it regularly. You should also be wise in which faction you choose to fight for. The English majors can be a little pretentious and unathletic for sure, but they have strength in numbers. The Dining Hall Staff have a wealth of resources and good understanding of the territory. The Spiritual Life Faction has some pretty radical ideologies, so make sure you’re on board if you want to join them. The A Capella faction is a horde of fucking barbarians.
- Some Pens
Some professors don’t like students using pencils, and will ask you to use a pen. It’s generally a good idea to buy a pack or two of black/blue and red pens just in case your professor asks you to switch to ink. Red pens are especially useful if you’re taking classes where you’ll be revising a lot of work or workshopping the works of your peers.
- Three Days of Drinking Water
It’s generally pretty easy to find your bare essentials on campus and in town, but once a year, without warning, all the of Saratoga and Skidmore shuts down. It starts with all the restaurants boarding up their windows. If you see this, then stock up, because soon after the entire city ceases to provide food or drinkable water. This can go on for days, and, since it can be sudden, it’s good to always be prepared.
- A Book Bag
Your book bag will be at your side for your entire college career, so make sure you pick out a good one from the get-go. You want something that’s comfortable but that can also handle the full load of books you’ll need for any given class. Everyone is different, so take some time with your decision and make sure you’re making it for you, not only to fit in.
- Lighter Fluid and Matches
Skidmore provides you with all sorts of good resources, but this doesn’t mean there won’t be many a cold night where you’ll need to provide for yourself. When the winter storms start a-brewin’, a good old can fire next to your bed is just the thing to make sure you survive the night in relative comfort. Bring lots of candles, too. Reading in the dark is really bad for your eyes.
- A Positive Attitude
College can be scary, but you have to remember that everyone else is in the same boat, so don’t fret too much about it. Put yourself out there, make friends, join a club and have fun! And don’t forget to take classes that really interest you. These four years could be the best years of your life.
- A Flare Gun
You fucked up. All your friends are gone and you’re sitting in a dingy Penfield single, cold and alone. The test you just failed is crumpled on your floor, and your phone is dead. There hasn’t been power in weeks, and you’re low on food. You’re staring at the wall wondering why on earth you ever thought going to college was a good idea. This is where your handy flare gun comes in! When you can’t handle it anymore, just find some high ground and pop a flare skywards. The Coast Guard will show up soon, and you’ll be fine. Everything will be fine, except it won’t. It won’t ever be fine.