By George Lubitz
SUSSMAN VILLAGE—Things didn’t go entirely as planned this past Friday when campus safety officers descended on an apartment party alongside the department’s brand new drug-sniffing dog, Munchy.
In Munchy’s inaugural mission to search the crowd for illicit substances like marijuana and cocaine, the German Shepherd of three years quickly became a target of petting and selfies.
Officers entered the apartment and declared themselves and that everyone needed to disperse. Next, officer Natalie Smith took lead position, with Munchy anxiously yanking her forward, his nose determined to find some dope.
The pair of officers and K-9 didn’t make it past the garden unit’s kitchen, however, when a motley crew of intoxicated and stoned partygoers sank to Munchy’s level and began stroking his fur with the dexterity comparable to that of a baby giraffe.
The pot-searching pup quickly succumbed to the influences of easy-stimulated drunks and reveled in the attention he was receiving. Officers Smith and Diaz attempted to pull Mucny lose of the crowd’s inebriated grasp, but someone had unlatched his collar and they were met with an empty leash.
“OMG there’s a puppy!” screamed one student, before an entire barrage of partiers closed in on Munchy. Soon thereafter, Munchy emerged from the mosh pit donning sunglasses from Fun Day 2013.
Said Officer Diaz, when asked about her reaction to the debacle: “Well, we didn’t get Munchy to sniff out anybody carrying substances, but we do have plenty of Instagram evidence showing students sparking J’s with him. That’s just as good, I think.”