Campus Life

Recent Alum Ridiculed for Returning to Campus Already

By Doug Patrick

In a decision made completely embarrassing for her, recent alum Christina Rodriguez (’17) is already back visiting campus. When word of her arrival got around, current students waited outside Case to greet her while pointing fingers and laughing. They asked, in unison, “You’re back? Already?”

Although Christina told herself that she would never be that alum, it appears that’s exactly who she’s become.

“I felt a little weird, but I wanted to visit my little brother,” Christina told Skidmo. “I thought it’d be a nice thing to do.”

But Christina was wrong.

“Little brother or not,” Raymond George (’20) said, “you can’t come back this soon. Hell, if I was a recent alum, my mom could be held captive here, and I’d still wait until at least November to save her.”

Terry Butcher (’21) said, “It’s just kinda sad, you know? I mean, shouldn’t she have, like, a job, a house, and be married by now?”

“I liked Christina back when she was still in school,” Michelle Roberts (’18) said. “But not anymore. I’ve lost all respect for her.”

And so have we, Christina.

Everyone has.

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