By Doug Patrick
Chances are, if you do drugs, you want people to know. In fact, you need people to know. And the best way to get this message across is by some kickass, flirty addition to your look. Drug rugs are cool for pot, old trucker hats are great for alcohol, and a long neon pink accent nail is perfect for cocaine.
But we’re not talking about those low-stakes gateway drugs. No. We’re talking about the real deal: LSD. And for something as radical as that, you need something equally as in-your-face.
Too often, when someone who hasn’t entered the fourth dimension hears another describe a trip on acid, they get all freaked out. They get all, “Is that bad for you?” “What did you see?” “Was it scary?”
We say avoid those questions with these four septum piercings that say, “Yeah, I do LSD—so what?”
This piercing really highlights your eyes, the windows to the soul, and the receptors which have seen things all the people around you can’t even begin to imagine. “Oh, what did you see?” How about you fuck off.
Are you a creative type? Does marijuana not really do it for you anymore when you’re ready to create, and getting tipsy before making art only makes your work sophomoric and derivative like everybody else’s? Are you sick of having to explain to groups and groups of people that you’re not like everybody else? That, for you, it takes a few tabs to get anything done?
Then we say go with this piercing—it says you’re fun and nuanced! Oh, and that you do LSD.
If you have thoughts that are deeper and more interesting than everybody else’s, and all the time people ask you how you think the way you do, then we suggest this nose ring. Why? So that people stop fucking asking.
Because of the acid, obviously.
Acid is great for finding your authentic self, so here’s a piercing that can really define you. No need to speak when your nostrils say everything you would ever say…
“Yeah, I do LSD. Whatever.”