Before I Met Mark, I Delayed Updating Windows Like All The Other Girls

By Maddy Santos

Ashamed as I am to admit it, I used to be a lot less confident in myself as I am now. Like how many of us love to hate remembering how awkward we looked in high school by scrolling through old photos on Facebook, I do get a cathartic joy from doting fondly back to when I was so cringe-inducingly inept. Indeed, I look at myself now and rejoice how much I’ve bettered myself. How I love myself and accept myself more than ever—all thanks to Mark, who showed me the importance of installing Windows updates as soon as they become available.

The truth is that Mark—my lover, my spirit guide, my savior dare I say—has with his love transformed me into the person I am today, by ingraining in me an unwavering conviction…to not let the Windows system updates pile up and fall to the wayside.

When I first met Mark, I took him as some simple, flimsy man. Someone with no real constitution and the intelligence comparable to that of a Sasquatch. But in that time I was a shadow of who I was to become—my assumptions got me nowhere, but Mark took me everywhere. I fell in love with him as soon as he began telling me about firmware; about how PC’s are far superior to Macs, and how he built his gaming computer from scratch. He showed me a new world. He’s continued to make me a better person with each passing day.

But his moral teachings are deeper than I once thought. Because, like the complexities of my journey towards self-love in the face of emotional stress, Mark’s capacity for love and untiring care for me is profound. He told me one night, after we had finished making love to the Rick and Morty soundtrack, that updating Windows isn’t just black and white. Sometimes—he whispered tenderly in my ear—it’s sometimes better to wait for the next version to come out, so that they clean up some of the bugs. We fucked like animals for the rest of the evening.

I don’t know what will come of me and Mark. I want to believe that we’ll be happy forever—that he’ll never cease to surprise me and make me more whole. But if there’s anything I’ve learned from being with Mark, it’s that nothing in this world is certain, but we have to love it anyway. Oh, and that Windows 10 was a major letdown, but the updates were necessary all the same.

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