By Quint Turner
The students of Skidmore lovehookup culture, but sometimes the two lines fail to connect. Below are a few of the most recent cases of missed connections:
-You: Wearing headphones and taking a selfie while walking; Me: Suave gentleman; I held the door to D-Hall open for you, you did not say “thank you.” Get back here and tell me what I want to hear.
-You: Working hard on your group project presentation an hour before it’s due; Me: An idiot who showed up 45 minutes after my room reservation started; I said that you were in my room during my time, and you got very in-my-face about it when you got up to leave. I think we should reserve a dining table together.
-You and I worked the same Deli shift at Spa the other day. We were so in-sync, we finished each other’s sandwiches. But when I spelled my number out with cranberry mayo on a customer’s wrap, you covered it in salami right away. Let’s talk at my place.
-You: Sitting in evening science class in Bolton; Me: Sitting in evening English class in Library; we made eye contact. I think there’s chemistry here—and I’m not talking about the periodic table in your classroom
-You: Just left a crowded blue side table with all your friends but not with your plates; Me: The worker that had to pick up the mess. I just wanted to pick up your heart.