By Lizette Roman-Johnston
The past few years have been full of obscure fitness and fashion trends, like mom jeans and pole dancing as an exercise. Another fad that made the world scratch their heads was “dad bod”—surely, you’ve heard of this. A dad bod is relatively slim but not toned, often with a trace of beer gut. Dads get this body by staying active, but with activities like adult softball leagues, which usually call for post-game tailgating. Of course, he also coaches his son’s little league team, which requires some athleticism but mostly an ability to sit on a bucket and scream.
But do you know who wouldn’t be a little league coach or softball player? Somebody without kids. And who doesn’t have kids? The Uncle.
By most standards, The Uncle doesn’t have his shit together. He has poor posture, a result of sleeping on a different couch every week. He can’t afford to go to a gym, so he lacks muscle too. Without a consistent place to shower and groom himself, his hair gets greasy, and his body hair gets bushy.
Should we feel bad for The Uncle? If you’re caught up with the trends, you would know that the answer is no. This man has successfully achieved Uncle Bod!
The trend began as early as the 90s, when John Stamos made his debut as Uncle Jesse, a rebel with a motorcycle and up-and-coming rock band. The world swooned every time he said “Have mercy.” Who doesn’t love a bad boy? But then Uncle Jesse had kids—twins named Nicky and Alex—and parenting became sexy. Uncle Jesse cut his hair and put the motorcycle in the garage. He gained some healthy weight and even played catch with his sons and nieces.
But decades have passed since this transition, and we have hit a period of nostalgia. We miss Season One Uncle Jesse. We miss the Uncle Bod.
Now that the Uncle Bod craze has returned, dads all over the world no longer feel appreciated for their physique and have consequently left their families to become somebody’s “uncle”. They quit their jobs in favor of forming a band or selling organs on the internet. Slowly and surely, anyone who’s anyone will look positively haggard!