By Hannah Kotler
Live from the Puppybowl, Skidmo’ reporters overheard an argument taking place between star player Doobert the dog and his father, Doobert Sr. Although a normally outstanding quarterback, Doobert Jr. was off his game this Puppybowl. Doobert’s dad took to criticizing him for his lackluster performance: “This is the BIG game, Doobert, and you’re messing it up. Sloppy passes, poor direction—you’re making a fool of yourself and of the family name.”
Doobert, although visibly upset, had clearly taken enough of his dad’s shit, responding: “But football is your dream, Dad—not mine. My whole life all you’ve tried to do is control me, especially since that movie Air Bud: Golden Receiver came out, and this just isn’t who I am.” After the fight, Doobert Jr. stormed off the field and refused to play the second half of the game.
His teammates were sad, but understood: “Yeah, Doobert’s dad is kind of a dick,” said Spot, the team Dalmatian, “And Doobert doesn’t even like football—he’s always trying to get me to ditch practice and go to tap dancing lessons with him,” added Rex the Pitbull.
Skidmo’ reporters can confirm that Doobert was seen later that evening signing up for the “doggy dance lessons” he had always wanted to take.