Eco-Friendly Professor Has Students Print Everything

By Eddie Godino

One would think that an environmental studies class would give students information on how to save the environment. While that may be true, it doesn’t mean you can’t kill hundreds of trees in the process. Students in Professor Greenthistle’s Intro to Environmental Studies class were shocked to discover just how much paper they’d be wasting in class each week.
“When he first told us that all our books were available for free online, I was psyched,” said one student. “I didn’t realize in the moment that he expected us to print them all out ourselves.”
In addition to printing their over-100 page textbooks at the start of the semester, students also have weekly assignments that Greenthistle insists be printed out.
“We need to print out readings that range from, like, ten to twenty pages, then the worksheets that go along with those, and a two to three page synopsis,” said a student who we interviewed as he waited for the printer to be restocked. “Oh, and if you’re leading discussion that week, you need to print out a copy of your questions for everyone in the class. We have 30 kids.”
“I don’t have a printer in my room, so I spend hours in the library each week to print stuff out for his class,” said another student. “There’s always a huge line behind me and I feel super awkward.”
We asked Greenthistle himself if he could shed some light on why he has his students constantly printing.
“Technology has its uses, but not in the classroom,” said Greenthistle, whose desk had literally three feet’s worth of papers stacked on top. “Students are much more productive when they aren’t being tempted by tweeting and googling and all those other brain-rotting activities.” He also said “you can’t beat the feeling of real paper” or something cliché like that.
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