Congratulations, You are One of Skidmo’ Daily’s Top Fans on Facebook! Now Get a Fucking Life!

by Justin Rizzi

Woohoo! If you’re reading this, it’s because we want to thank you for your support. You’ve just been notified by Facebook that you are one of our top fans here at The Skidmo’ Daily. Wow! We are so honored. We only have one further request:

Get a fucking life, loser.

What do you do all day? Scroll through Facebook looking for an article from your favorite satirical news source, looking for just one laugh to fill the endless void that is your life? We’re sick of being used like that. Get a hobby. Take up knitting. Learn to speak a new language. Volunteer at a food bank. Do something worth your time for once and stop relying on us to distract you from your pathetic life.

When Facebook was invented, nobody envisioned shitheads like you who would spend all their time reading this pointless crap instead of contributing to society. Get a job, and ignore the bullshit we post on Facebook LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s