Campus Life

‘Union of Progressive Cannibalists’ Club Approved By Student Government

by Isaac DeMarchi

(Disclaimer: There is a lengthy history of Christians accusing Jewish people of drinking blood or other cannibalist ritual. This mythology has been used against not only Jews but against indigenous North and South Americans. Any connection to this history is incidental and did not inform the content of the article. For more, follow this link https://www.adl.org/education/resources/glossary-terms/blood-libel)

While there has been a series of controversial club denials by the Skidmore Student Government, thankfully, the Progressive Cannibalists Club was granted full club status this Monday, as well as given a funding of $200 a month. 

“It is crucial that we give this group the same priority as any other group on campus,” said SGA president Marco Lin. “So what if their views are incompatible with people who don’t want to be eaten.”

While cannibalism is a controversial issue with many sides, in our day and age it doesn’t seem like we could ever come up with a solution that makes both sides happy. That’s why we at Skdimo Daily believe that we must give ample space, and money, to hear all sides of issues. Besides, the PCC has promised us that they would never attempt to eat one of us. 

I say that we should welcome cannibalism in our public discourse, as to do otherwise would be offensive to cannibals, and as we know that is never acceptable.

Naturally, the voices of anti-cannibalists would be more than welcome at club meetings, and the Cannibalists assure me that they will put their opposition completely at ease in order to engage in civil discourse on peaceful cannibalism.

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