Campus Life Local news student

Student’s Headphones Miraculously Survive Fifth Drowning in The Washing Machine

By Will Kertzman

While Skidmore’s campus has emptied out faster than a Zoom meeting on Scottish history, some heartier, less organized, less driven students have remained on campus for things like Summer Classes, the Storytellers Workshop, and the need to live out their hick/hobo fantasy that just doesn’t work in Fairfield, Connecticut. But this does not mean that life is much different for these students, they still face the same challenges on campus during the summer as they do during the school year.

Case and point: rising senior Esther Mendoza is still facing the completely avoidable but consistent tragedy of washing her headphones in her sweatshirt pocket every single time she does her laundry. Being generally described by her peers as “disgusting,” Mendoza rarely does her laundry. In fact in the entirety of the 2020 – 2021 school year she washed her monochromatic mauve wardrobe only four times.

But for whatever reason, perhaps the fact that some of her shirts were beginning to sprout, Mendoza decided that today was as good a day as any to do another wash. In doing so she inadvertently subjected her one pair of good headphones to another routine drowning.

Mendoza offered updates on the situation with the explicit request that she be kept anonymous, whoopsies šŸ˜¦ While scarfing down a sandwich from spa that was marketed as a “buffalo chicken explosion,” Mendoza said that “my headphones are the only thing that separate me from your world. I need them. Do you understand? Without them I have to engage!!!”

But luckily for both Mendoza and our intrepid reporters who got tired of listening to her talk through chews, her headphones survived their fifth plunge into near death.

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