By Will Kertzman and Isaac DeMarchi
Today is a solemn day for reflection here in the United States of America. Our nation will forever remember the date June 19th, 2021 as the day that presidential dog and enthusiastic journalist biter Champ Biden, died.
In a video emailed to all students, faculty, alumni, parents, and well-wishers with the subject line reading “PLEASE WATCH! IMPORTANT FOR AMERICA!” Skidmore president Marc C. Conner addressed the gravity of the situation today, touching on the “fractured soul of American democracy” several times before ending the speech by saying “if you or a loved one has lost a dog, raise your hand,” before realizing he could not see anyone.
While the day started out being about Juneteenth which is the commemoration of when in 1865, slaves in Texas finally received the news that Abraham Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation, the attention of the nation quickly shifted to Champ, America’s little rascal who, just like his owner, has persistent bladder control issues. Champ’s death reminds us of the finality of existence, and the collective consciousness of the American experience. We are all Champ, and that’s what today is really all about.