Student Returns from Winter Break With New Look, Identity, Passport, and Language Competency
by Will Kertzman SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY – With winter break finally over, these past few weeks saw the return ofContinue Reading
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East Coast Liberal Begrudgingly Admits He Also Didn’t Know Kansas City Was In Missouri
by Holly O’Byrne SKIDMORE- In a sadly unsurprising tweet following last Sunday’s Super Bowl, President Donald Trump ignored his basicContinue Reading
All I Want for Christmas is a Whole Bunch of Fertilizer and Don’t Ask Any Fucking Questions
by Fred Nelson Ah Christmas, ’tis the season of joy, merriment, and rosy red cheeks, a time of year forContinue Reading
Can This Guy Catch a Break? Drake Gets Knee Caps Whapped with Lead Pipes at Camp Flog Gnaw 2
by Will Kertzman LOS ANGELES, CA – This past weekend saw the second biggest gathering of men under the ageContinue Reading
Wal-Mart Yodeling Kid Harvests Own Plasma During Instagram Live-Stream in Desperate Attempt to Regain National Attention
by Will Kertzman CHICAGO, IL – Mason Ramsey, more popularly known as “The Wal-Mart Yodeling Kid” tried to regain theContinue Reading
Top 10 Fluids Seen in New Film “The Lighthouse”
by Will Kertzman 10. Whatever alcohol they’re drinking: The main characters constantly are sippin’ on that regulah al to theContinue Reading
In Other News, Students No Longer Allowed to Abbreviate Murray-Aikins Dining Hall to D-Hall
by Milly Ennial SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—In an effort to be inclusive to all past, present and future Skidmore graduates, theContinue Reading
Pre-Med Student Declares Anthropology Minor in Last-Ditch Effort to Get a Personality
by Jenna Lucash SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY – Tensions in the halls of Skidmore College were tangible recently, as students preparedContinue Reading
Disheartened Club President Already Stopped Putting Up Flyers for Events
by Isaac DeMarchi LOCAL BULLETIN BOARD–Making record speed, Bowling Club president and senior Jeffery Mach has allegedly already given upContinue Reading
BREAKING: Kid Who Plays Devil’s Advocate Is Actually Just An Asshole
by Margaret Limone SARATOGA SPRINGS—Amidst the bustling swarms of hungover Skidmore students making their way to class, last Tuesday morningContinue Reading
